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S8: E16

How To Defend Yourself At Work Without Seeming Defensive

In this episode, Felicia explores a difficult but vital workplace challenge: defending yourself professionally without appearing defensive. Many Black women face added pressures around tone, expression, and self-advocacy, often needing to navigate feedback and microaggressions in ways that don’t compromise their professionalism or peace. Felicia shares real-life insights on how to defend yourself and handle these situations confidently and constructively.

Felicia introduces her “strategic questioning” approach—a technique to respond to uncomfortable comments or feedback by asking clarifying questions that deflect defensiveness and encourage accountability. This approach helps redirect the conversation back to clarity, allowing you to communicate with strength while maintaining control.

Felicia also dives into boundary-setting, explaining how to use actions to enforce boundaries without needing to announce them openly. She offers tips on protecting your peace by stepping back from unproductive situations and handling interactions in ways that prioritize your well-being. Plus, she covers the importance of tone and how to balance authenticity with adaptability to prevent misinterpretations.

Whether you’re dealing with difficult feedback, setting boundaries, or managing workplace dynamics, this episode is packed with actionable advice to help you defend yourself while staying true to who you are.

Key Takeaways in this Episode:

1. Defend with Strategic Questions: Instead of reacting defensively, use specific questions to shift the conversation back to clarity and accountability. This approach keeps you in control while encouraging others to rethink their assumptions.
2. Set Boundaries Through Actions, Not Words: Boundaries don’t always need an announcement. Small but consistent actions can reinforce your limits effectively and reduce the need for confrontation, helping you maintain peace.
3. Master Tone to Maintain Authority: Balancing authenticity with adaptability can help prevent misinterpretation. Modulate your tone in ways that stay true to yourself while still fitting into the workplace environment.
4. Know When to Step Away: Defending yourself can sometimes mean choosing not to engage. Recognize when and how to disengage from unproductive interactions to safeguard your focus and psychological safety.
5. Prepare Before Escalating to HR: Escalating a workplace issue should be strategic, not impulsive. Consulting with an attorney or developing a clear plan first can be crucial in protecting your career.

Career Consulting Services:
If you’re preparing for a job interview and want to ensure you’re fully prepared, Felicia is offering interview prep sessions. You can sign up for a session using this LINK. If you’re struggling with workplace issues, Felicia offers one-on-one consulting to help you navigate your career journey. Visit trillmba.com/coaching to book a strategy session.

Additionally, Patreon members will have access to a objectives setting guide to help them in their career journey. Join our Patreon for access here: https://www.patreon.com/trillmbashow

Get Transferable Skills Checklist and Value Proposition Worksheet HERE

Listener Letters: If you have a situation that we can all learn from, email us at ask@trillmba.com.  We will not use real names.  Put Listener Letter in the subject line to let us know we can read your letter on the show.

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Editing and Sound Design by Chris Mann of Podshaper